thoughts...

I was reading Christina's blog again, and, well... I started thinking. I was gonna post this as a comment, but it got too long... so i'm posting it here. and then some...

I didn't know how much i hurt you. I've told you that earlier. but, for you to hunt down that bastard, even after i didn't talk to you for months... to torture him... i'm...surprised you would go through such measures just for me.

If you were the one who was killed, i'd hunt him down. can't say i'd torture him (that's not who i am), but I'd make him hurt. I'd make him feel just a portion of the pain i'd feel. Christina, you're the person who got the closest to me. you understand me better than most anyone else.

I couldn't kill every person though. you probably already knew that, though. Given enough reason, i'd definitely kill someone though. people don't realize how much anger i hide from others.

That got me thinking... if i lost someone as close to me as Christina, or even my family... what would i do? What could i do? I would probably be so far in depression i wouldn't be able to function properly in society... I would be able to hunt down the bastards that made me lose them, but after that... I would probably need some one to give me a reason to live. I'd need someone to keep me going.

I would stay home all day, mourning the lose of the people closest to me. They wouldn't want me to do that, but... well, that's what i'd do. I'm too coward to take my life.

Welp, that's (truly) all i have to say tonight. Other than the fact I probably won't update every day, or every few days. I have only one computer i can get on, and an e-reader. the computer is usually used by my mum and dad, so... yeah...

I'm going to bed.

Hey, all.  This is Peace's new blog, however she is choosing to use her real name, Sarah.

I(as you can see) am not Sarah.  this is me Christinasphinx testing out her new blog, seeing as i set it up for her.

woo.

Edit: 8:46 pm

Hey! I'm Peace, aka: Sarah. Either or, really...

Um... I just wrote a poem. Hold on... Here it is...

Caged and mapped

I feel so trapped

Always chained

Always strained

Never left to be unbound.

Broken spirit, fly away

Fly free if you may

I let you go

And now you know

I cannot help those hounds

I watch you fly

Fly so high

I want to see

I want to be

I dream of your precious name

I’m stuck, I’m stuck

Stuck, stuck, in this muck

I want to scream

I have to flee

It will always be the same

I try to write

I try to fight

My binds are tightened

I feel so frightened

Why can’t they see my pain?

I don’t know

How far to go?

How far to trust?

I can’t, but I must

But they only cause me hurt

I can’t heal

I can’t feel

I hear whispers

Where are my sisters?

They let them go, I’m stuck in the dirt

I have to study

The walls seem bloody

With the shards of my dreams

Nothing is what it seems

I don’t have the freedom I want

I just want slack

I can’t go back

To life the way it was

Before the work became a buzz

And they just seem to taunt

I’m free, but I’m not

I can’t do what I want

I want to write and read

But, then I won’t succeed

Not when school gets in the way

If I read and write

Try hard as I might

I’ll get in trouble

Left in the muddle

Of emotions unknown to many

I want to pass

I won’t be last!

I will find time

To get to the finish line

And I will be able to do what I want

I will study

‘Cause the skies are sunny

The dark clouds disappear

My hopes are still here

And no longer do those binding chains taunt

...Turned out different than how I thought it would... Well, I'm gonna go. I don't have anything to say at the moment...