thoughts...

I was reading Christina's blog again, and, well... I started thinking. I was gonna post this as a comment, but it got too long... so i'm posting it here. and then some...

I didn't know how much i hurt you. I've told you that earlier. but, for you to hunt down that bastard, even after i didn't talk to you for months... to torture him... i'm...surprised you would go through such measures just for me.

If you were the one who was killed, i'd hunt him down. can't say i'd torture him (that's not who i am), but I'd make him hurt. I'd make him feel just a portion of the pain i'd feel. Christina, you're the person who got the closest to me. you understand me better than most anyone else.

I couldn't kill every person though. you probably already knew that, though. Given enough reason, i'd definitely kill someone though. people don't realize how much anger i hide from others.

That got me thinking... if i lost someone as close to me as Christina, or even my family... what would i do? What could i do? I would probably be so far in depression i wouldn't be able to function properly in society... I would be able to hunt down the bastards that made me lose them, but after that... I would probably need some one to give me a reason to live. I'd need someone to keep me going.

I would stay home all day, mourning the lose of the people closest to me. They wouldn't want me to do that, but... well, that's what i'd do. I'm too coward to take my life.

Welp, that's (truly) all i have to say tonight. Other than the fact I probably won't update every day, or every few days. I have only one computer i can get on, and an e-reader. the computer is usually used by my mum and dad, so... yeah...

I'm going to bed.